Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Why to people accept another's addiction problem and make it theirs?

This is a good question and at the heart of why addiction goes on and on or is permitted to go on and on. I have seen from my work that when an addict or alcoholic sees the consequences of their addiction then they have a good chance of stopping. That means that a big problem is enabling. Individually we enable, businesses enable, unions enable, doctors enable and as a society we enable people to keep going and making the rest of the world around them miserable. It is only when boundaries are set and adhered to that the addict changes. An addict will huff and puff that they were put out of work and how unfair the world is but then end up going through with the SAP interview and following the treatment. It is amazing what I see.
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2 comments:

  1. MylèneJune 2, 2009 at 12:41 PM

    I have worked hard to not be an enabler but have slipped lately, as happens when the cycle comes around full circle and I have that untrue sense/feeling of hope. My feeling there is hope wants me to be an "active participant' in his recovery but I know that is an oxymoron. I also know that in order to keep myself sane, I cannot be his keeper or his sargent, nor the detective that tries to tally the intake (xxx) and the outtake ($$) and all that jazz.

    The problem is, as a natural born micromanager, it is really hard to relinquish control, as it is for an alcoholic to admit he doesn't have the control. The feelings of the alcoholic and those of the co-dependant run parallel for the most part - anyone see that?

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  2. Nicholas BarryJune 3, 2009 at 5:27 PM

    I see that the alcoholic is addicted to alcohol, cant face himself very long without out it. It is the same with the co alcoholic which are addicted to compulsive thoughts and ideas around the alcoholic. It is a hell of a thing but slowly somone has to disengage or it turns into a cycle of craziness and then the kids catch it. It really is a hell of a mess. I know all about it from many ways and it is very hard to get out of, continual support is the best way.

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